Category Archives: News

Terrorists Attack US Embassy Toilets In Greece.

Athens (THB) — It was probably not the first explosion these potties have ever seen, but it wasn’t caused by a night of ouzo and bad squid. The third floor Restroom of the US Embassy in Athens Greece was spontaneously redecorated (presumably in varied shades of brown and tan) today by a rocket launched from […]

Florida Sperm Bank Refrigerator Fails

This is The Beast’s joke: Floridians (of all people) should know that Fresh-Squeezed beats Frozen any day! GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Thousands of sperm samples, some stored by men who feared they could become impotent, were destroyed when the temperature rose undetected in a refrigeration tank at the University of Florida. The problem at the […]

Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin dead!!

We all knew it was coming – nobody with his zest for life could hold onto it for very long. Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin dead By staff writers September 04, 2006 02:14pm Article from: THE Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin, is dead. He was killed in a freak accident in Cairns, police sources said […] Too Many Seals, Not Enough Sharks

It appears that The Hairy Beast’s musings on the relationship between an exploding New England seal population and the unusual appearance of a great white shark fifty feet off a Cape Cod beach last month (Cape Cod Massachusetts: Too many seals and Great Whites, now!) has prompted some explication from In the post Too […]

Cape Cod Massachusetts: Too many seals and Great Whites, now!

*******************UPDATE, August 06, 2007 : Its happened AGAIN!************************* * On July 18, a Chatham resident and several beachgoers got a big suprise. From “Cape Cod Online”: On Lighthouse Beach, witnesses said they saw a 15-foot great white spring from the water and devour a seal swimming about 50 feet off shore. Officials could not confirm […]

The Maine Mutant – He’s not related

Breaking Beast News at: The Saturday Maine Mutant Roundup Some Other Hairy Beast The Hairy Beast created this blog five days ago, and readership has been light, as expected. But something strange happened today – the hit counter started spinning like Linda Blair’s head! Suddenly hundreds of people were viewing this blog! And it’s still […]

Breast Implants and Airport Security??

Double-D For Deadly. Ok, The Hairy Beast admits his original motive for this post was as sleazy and adolescent as it appears – perhaps even more so. But then he got to thinking, could a terrorist really smuggle two containers of fluid onto a plane without alerting security this way…? And if so, how would […]

Clinton: I Hate turning 60, but I’ve always looked forward to 69!

The Hairy Beast saw this on the Drudge Report and could not help himself! Take a headline, add a few more words, set the original picture under it in the right way and Voila! A whole new angle on a very, very old story! Actual Story Here

All profiling to end in USA

by The Hairy Beast August 15, 2006 WASHINGTON – Bowing to pressure from activist groups across the country, the Nation’s law enforcement agencies — including the FBI and The Department of Homeland Security — announced today that they will end all profiling activities in this country, beginning September 10, 2006. DHS Director Michael Chertoff, speaking […]