QUICK! Get this kid some prozac!

Upon watching this video advertisement from Greenpeace the first words that sprang to The Beast’s mind were “Wicked creepy”. Why waste ten bucks at the local cineplex to watch the origins of Hannibal Lechter when you can see it here for free?

Maybe it’s just The Beast, but are the Enviroes getting ever more sinister by the day? They want you fired, they want you arrested, they want to destroy your livelihood and now they are attracting proto-serial murderers. What’s next – solar powered concentration camps for Global Warming Deniers? Guarenteed, this kid would be at least a guard, if not Kommandante.

What shall we call this new environmental youth-thug army this kid hints is coming? The Greenshirts?

This Beast is amazed that the wack-jobs over at Greenpeace are apparently so rage-driven and ideologically isolated that they actually thought people who saw this video fantasy would react positively to it, instead of seeing it for what it is: a violent, totalitarian wet dream.

*****UPDATE: We have received an exclusive statement from the “Angry Kid’s” father, Mr. S. Pineless III .

My Dear Son Mohamed Jihad,

Please come home, your third mother and I miss you terribly. Ever since you ran away to join Greenpeace, shortly after we got you back from the American Taliban Brotherhood, we’ve done nothing but cry and blame Bush/Cheney. Obviously they drove you to it. The house staff hasn’t been the same since you left.

We forgive you for the terrible things you did to “Fluffy” and the neigborhood cats.

Your room is just as you left it, walls still black (sorry we made such a fuss about the terrible smells coming from it) and your collection of skulls and candles are untouched. It’s all waiting for you when you get home.

You have to start taking your medicine, Dr Swartz has healed up nicely and said he will take you back as a patient, provided you agree to wear the leather mittens.

We cancelled our vacation in Cuba, just in case you decide to return. Please come home, or at least to the ski chalet if that is closer. We’ll be there for the next three weeks.

Son we love you and we want you back.




  1. clarice
    Posted February 21, 2007 at 9:37 pm | Permalink

    Clever to put him in the same outfit the unibomber wore. Nice touch.

  2. Posted February 21, 2007 at 9:39 pm | Permalink

    Helloooo Clarice. Are the lambs still silent?

    Sorry couldn’t help it. Yeah he’s dressed spooky too. What’s the message Greenpeace is trying to send? Be scared of your kids?

  3. Posted February 22, 2007 at 6:33 pm | Permalink

    come beast, come off it… you shot that… if that really is greenpeace, than im confused, very confused…

  4. Posted February 22, 2007 at 7:44 pm | Permalink

    Yucca, it really is Greenpeace and The Beast does not blame you for being confused. Hopefully Greenpeace will make lots more of these type ads and you will become less confused as you see their mindset at work.

    Remember, they actually thought this ad wasn’t repellent – they thought it was good.

  5. Reich
    Posted February 22, 2007 at 7:50 pm | Permalink

    Notice that this articulate little twit is wearing lipstick. Imagine the hits they’re getting from NAMBLA members. I just love threats from teens. Why don’t they stick to doing something productive like stopping whale hunters.

  6. Posted February 23, 2007 at 12:16 pm | Permalink

    Good point Reich, the unisex, though effeminate, speaker was chosen to accomodate the maximum number of PC victim groups.

    This accusatory attitude reminds me of kids turning in their parents to school officials if they even suspected that mom and dad were using drugs.

    Hairy, green shirts, indeed. How much more motivated are those of us with the higher calling of exposing evil in others? Don’t all “greater good” types only have the downtrodden, little guy at heart?

    This anthropogenic, global climate change sideshow is a horrible distraction. It’s like a slot machine: you can’t win, and it takes up a lot of time and money.


  7. Posted February 23, 2007 at 5:07 pm | Permalink

    Reich and icansee,

    At first the Beast was a bit suprised that Greenpeace eschewed the usual lefty “Rainbow Casting” ethic by using a caucasion actor. But then he realized that the piece was meant to target and intimidate a hated ubergroup (the white middle class) to suggest that, while while the Enviro Left may not have YOU, they’re getting your KIDS.

    It’s actually a fantasy projection.

  8. Posted February 23, 2007 at 5:11 pm | Permalink

    Rather chilling. If fascism ever truly arises in the US, it will come from the Left instead of the Right. What a little brainwashed fanatic.

  9. alice m.
    Posted February 24, 2007 at 4:57 am | Permalink

    Me and my friend are both 11 and we live in kent. With my friend i am doing a project that i found in the a speciali buy paper. It is if i can come up with an idea of how to really help the world and the idea will wwork for ten yrs without any side affects then we will get 12.5 milloin pounds to start are own little company or to get involved with another one and then give it to them.We were going to do a little progect on our village to see if we are really up for it and we were wondering if you might be able to help us

  10. Posted February 24, 2007 at 6:15 am | Permalink

    Hi ALice

    Welcome to the page – the Beast suggests you talk to your mom and dad about getting help for a project or maybe a teacher at your school, just because they are close and you can trust them to give you the help you need. It’s wonderful that you want to get involved, but frankly – if we political bloggers were as good at DOING stuff as we are at TALKING about it, we wouldn’t be blogging would we?

    Good luck with your project, The Beast is sure you will do well.


    P.S. The Beast has a son your age but his current projects are climbing trees and snowboarding, provided it does not cut into his video game time.

  11. Posted March 2, 2007 at 9:07 pm | Permalink

    See, I’m still not getting it.

    The androginous things is manipulative, and the barely restrained anger is nice acting, but the threats are lame.

    I tried really hard to go all wobbly at the knees with fear and guilt; and unbounded confidence in the ideas and convictions of the younger generations, but I couldn’t muster up anything.

    I hope they can come up with something a tad more convincing in future.

    May be an army somewhere could use this as a recruitment video, with very minor changes, so that it doesn’t totally go to waste.

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