Every day when The Beast checks his blog stats (ok, every six minutes), he notices that in the “Your Readers Clicked The Following Links On Your Page” category, a dozen or so of you have clicked on The BeetleWeasel.
Clicking on the The BeetleWeasel should cause a new message in whatever email program you use to pop up with The Beast’s email addy already entered and the subject line “Beast, your blog stinks because…” in it. All you have to do is type out whatever complaint you have (or fawning accolade, preferably) and hit ‘send’.
This has worked twice, to-date. Twice. Two emails from the BeetleWeasel.
The Beast is therefore forced to ask himself – if The BeetleWeasel gets clicked up to a dozen times a day over the course of months, why do emails never follow? The emails don’t appear to get lost – some have got through, so it’s not that. No, the only logical answer must be that people LIKE to click on him! People must expect something interesting to happen – which it never does.
And it never will. The Beast considers most clickable “Contact Us” icons bland and insipid. He developed the BeetleWeasel to make the link a bit more interesting and it obviously worked because readers click the hell out of him! But the BeetleWeasel only does one thing and that’s it. The Beast apologizes if he has disappointed anyone, but in the future he may photoshop up some more image links that DO do interesting things, if he gets the urge.
*UPDATE: The Beast has added a photomontage to the page: “Pictures Of The Beast With Celebrity Hair”. The Beast is luxuriantly furred over every inch of his body except his head, so he got to wondering what he’d look like with hair. Photoshop and a series of celebrity head-shots have answered this question, the results of which he presents now for your amusement. Simply scroll down and look to the left.