A Quick Word On Our Pal The BeetleWeasel:

Every day when The Beast checks his blog stats (ok, every six minutes), he notices that in the “Your Readers Clicked The Following Links On Your Page” category, a dozen or so of you have clicked on The BeetleWeasel.

Clicking on the The BeetleWeasel should cause a new message in whatever email program you use to pop up with The Beast’s email addy already entered and the subject line “Beast, your blog stinks because…” in it. All you have to do is type out whatever complaint you have (or fawning accolade, preferably) and hit ‘send’.

This has worked twice, to-date. Twice. Two emails from the BeetleWeasel.

The Beast is therefore forced to ask himself – if The BeetleWeasel gets clicked up to a dozen times a day over the course of months, why do emails never follow? The emails don’t appear to get lost – some have got through, so it’s not that. No, the only logical answer must be that people LIKE to click on him! People must expect something interesting to happen – which it never does.

And it never will. The Beast considers most clickable “Contact Us” icons bland and insipid. He developed the BeetleWeasel to make the link a bit more interesting and it obviously worked because readers click the hell out of him! But the BeetleWeasel only does one thing and that’s it. The Beast apologizes if he has disappointed anyone, but in the future he may photoshop up some more image links that DO do interesting things, if he gets the urge.

*UPDATE: The Beast has added a photomontage to the page: “Pictures Of The Beast With Celebrity Hair”. The Beast is luxuriantly furred over every inch of his body except his head, so he got to wondering what he’d look like with hair. Photoshop and a series of celebrity head-shots have answered this question, the results of which he presents now for your amusement. Simply scroll down and look to the left.

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4 Comments

  1. Posted February 9, 2007 at 1:41 am | Permalink

    I click ‘contact us’ so many times, which never amounts to more than an automated response.
    Yet, indeed, we continue to click on the black holes of cyberspace. We really should start a petition for companies for a human response.

  2. Posted February 10, 2007 at 5:25 am | Permalink

    ironic,

    Good idea but don’t hold your breath

  3. runeonymous
    Posted February 12, 2007 at 3:45 am | Permalink

    I believe I was the first to step on the beetleweasel. Then my main water line broke from the freezing weather.
    I’m still waiting for the complimentary gift you never promised.
    I enjoy your blog Dr. M, keep up the good work.
    rune

  4. Posted February 12, 2007 at 6:16 am | Permalink

    Thanks rune,

    The Beast has had one water line freeze so far – hot water, oddly enough. He recommends a 100 watt light bulb judiciously applied to the suspect spot.

    Fortunately no breaks yet (PVC deals with freezes better than copper), but there is still plenty of winter left. Your prize is in the mail – look for it in the envelope beginning “You May Alrfeady Be A Winner!!!”.

    Good luck and keep warm.

    THB


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