How NOT To Pitch A Blogger!

Author and Business Blogger Ted Demopoulous posted a thought-provoking piece on his site yesterday on “How to Pitch a Blogger”. Here’s an excerpt.

I know, we bloggers are supposed to hate the word ‘pitch.’ Pitch is the word PR-types use for flinging ideas at the Mainstream Media.

I get lots of clueless ‘pitches’ — people contacting me wanting something. A book review (even a book on Earthworms once). Senseless press releases (feminine hygiene products — serious!). You name it. I image A-list bloggers have it MUCH worse!

So, how to pitch me or other bloggers? Address us by name. Make it clear you’ve read our blog. Be ON friggin’ target! (I don’t write on weight loss!).

Ted continues on to present an example of a good pitch from a fellow blogger. It’s a very good pitch indeed, if The Beast had been sent it he’d have linked to the guy. But there is one glaring omission in Ted’s piece: no example of a BAD pitch!

Naturally The Beast rushed to rectify this oversight with an example of his own. It is reproduced in full below.

Dear Tad

“How to pitch bloggers” eh? Intuition suggests bloggers are a desk-bound sendentary lot with all the springy mobility of a thick vein of prime Virginia coal. Before you could “pitch” one you would have to wrench him out of his burrow of discarded mars-bars wrappers, computer manuals, cigarette butts and moldy coffee cups. And then how would you get him airborne? A trebuchet?

Ha. Ha ha.

I am writing to direct your attention to what may well be the most exciting blog since “The What Would Happen If ‘Nancy’ Married Sluggo?”FanBlog debuted in 1998! It is called “The Hairy Beast” because of excessive cough syrup abuse at the time it was registered and also to preserve deniability once the Author makes the BIG TIME, which should be any moment now, let’s check the email.

Ok not yet but there’s an interesting business opportunity in Nairobi to look at.

Since my weblog is MUCH better than yours, you should link to me because then my readership will soar from it’s present level which is roughly equvalent to the post-vampire population of “Salem’s Lot” to something that may actually keep me in generic cigarettes and Mickey’s Malt Liquor until either the cops or my lifestyle catches up to me. Of course I will credit you fully once I am famous.

Think about it and get back to me.

THB

P.S. I just actually read your blog and now that I realize it’s about business, perhaps you would be interested in an exciting opportunity that JUST came my way? It’s in an african country, but I don’t want to say more in case the bankers over there find out.

Silliness aside, this is valuable advice and The Beast recommends his Blogger Readers try their hand at crafting one of these “Blogger Pitches”. Send the good ones to Ted, the bad ones are welcome here.

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3 Comments

  1. Caz
    Posted January 18, 2007 at 8:34 pm | Permalink

    Your pitch totally omitted mention of how very excited you are about being a blogger of no renown.

    What about your expansion plans?

    Where’s your press release?

    Where’s your smary offer to put them in touch with other, bigger, better bloggers?

    *Sheesh*

  2. Posted January 18, 2007 at 8:41 pm | Permalink

    Caz

    Feel free to add your own bad pitch, The Beast will put it up! Or even forward a few dreadful ones you have received.

    THB

  3. Kay Oss
    Posted January 20, 2007 at 4:37 pm | Permalink

    And here I thought your blog was about playing baseball with bloggers. Silly me! Love your example of a bad pitch. Can you write a “curve ball” or “soft pitch” example as well? I think your pitch would have been a ball, I can’t imagine it would have been a strike.


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