You know you’re getting old when you can recall voting in a Presidential election in which there was not a single “Bush” or “Clinton” on the ballot. Someday The Beast will gather his grandwhelps about him and bore them silly with hoary tales of campaigns long past. He will fix them with a rheumy eye, shake his gnarled finger and intone in a quavering half-whisper: “Yes, Johnny, your old Gramps remembers the day when Presidents’ names didn’t begin with a “B” or a “C”. We used to be able to vote for anybody we wanted – we had “Reagans” and “Mondales” and even the odd “Dukakis” here and there! Those were the days!”
“AND we didn’t have flying cars or jetpacks to take us to school, either, we had to ride the BUS!”
Isn’t it odd that we can have six hundred channels on our television but only two families running our country? That doesn’t feel like progress, does it? It feels more like some bloody Shakespeare play where everybody ends up on the castle floor in a puddle of their own fluids.
Here’s a thought: maybe one day a Bush will marry a Clinton and then we can get two with one vote! Or maybe they’ll just start cloning themselves and we can have dozens at a whack. Maybe one day the whole world will be populated only by Bushes and Clintons, lined up on either side zero degrees longitude and they’ll all wear either red or blue shirts and be at constant war. Well, maybe not war – the Clintons have never been any good at that.
Hopefully we’ll have our flying cars by then: The Beast is SO sick of waiting for those things!