With the entire world in deep denial over such trivial issues as the Rising Tide of Islamofascism, Plummeting Western Birth Rates, Illegal Immigration, Crime, and even The Holocaust, it is appropriate to look at the silly things the more credulous among us do believe in but shouldn’t.
1. Man-Made Global (sic) Warming.
“We have to get rid of the Medieval Warm Period.”
2. Objective Media.
Sure, any organization made up of an overwhelming percentage of Liberals can give you the straight dope.
3. AP’s Captain Jamil Hussein of the Baghdad Police.
THE HUNT IS ON! – File under Cryptozoology?
5. Crusading Celebrities.
YOU can’t have an SUV but Leonardo DiCaprio can jet about in his Gulfstar at will.
But it’s ok – he owns a Prius.
All cutures must be respected but our own.
7. Bushitler and Count Karl Von Rove.
They are the source of all evil in the world. Every night at sunset Count Karl spreads his leathery wings, lofts from the balcony of his castle (in which he keeps his Secret Weather Machine) and swoops down upon unsuspecting liberals to suck the blood out of their neck through his hollow fangs.
10. Higher Education.
Anyone who has returned to University later in life will see instantly that the Professors he idolized in his youth actually exist in a state of extended adolescence in which they have exchanged Beer Bongs and Doobies for the equally intoxicating effects of Politically Correct Subjectivist Leftwingery. “Dude, don’t bogart that Marx!”