Two years after the reelection of President Bush the electoral mud is flying again. The Mainstream Media has abandoned all pretense to objectivity and pulls for their favored party with every ounce of their diminishing strength. Newsweek magazine fawns over Tennessee Democratic Senatorial candidate Harold Ford while the New York Times and Washington Post excoriates daily the Evil Republicans and their machinations, grinding out flimsy stories of imagined malfeasance.
It is appropriate, therefore, to reflect on failed MSM smears of the past. Two years ago Dan Rather swung his hatchet at President Bush with a false story based on obviously faked documents. The “60 Minutes Jr.” story backfired and The Dan was sent off into his long goodnight. The Beast watched his and CBS News’ collapse with an extra-large helping of schadenfreude relish and ultimately was moved to poetry.
Mr. Rather is a tragic figure – a flawed hero who meets an untimely and disgraceful end, so heroic couplets seemed most appropos. Dear Readers, from out the hoary mists of 2002, The Beast presents:
The Fall Of The Dan
Of all the sins of man decried
By Gods whom our trespasses weigh
They hate the most our foolish pride
And dreaful price for that assay.
Olympos mount the airwaves soared
To distant stars with glee caress
But still not high enough to ward
The hot air blasts from CBS.
Decades of strife and conflict fueled
And sycophantic lies inflated
“The Dan” a vast empire ruled
Of Vanity that he created.
Overblown, his ego soars
Past shattered slopes where Titans fought.
And soon it knocks at heaven’s doors
Ascending heights where it should not.
The Gods cannot abide this fool
They mete out judgment as their wont
And pop his ego with a tool
That’s known as Times New Roman font.
Like Icarus Dan flew too high.
To stony earth he needs must fall.
To lay amid the broken scry
And nurse his wounds on bitter gall.
And when his days run out at last
And all his life the Gods review
They may forgive his proud bombast
The words were false; the story’s true!