Whan Acters Rite.

In his youth the Hairy Beast was forced, for a period of time, to share his lair with two other twenty-somethings. Having been denied the boon of noble and wealthy birth the Beast has always had to work for a living – oftimes for peanuts. In the 1990’s a post-election recession caused The Beast to […]

When the “Terrorist” Dog Has Five legs.

Abe Lincoln once posited an interesting conundrum: Q. If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog? A. Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg! It apears that every few months or so a five-legged dog decides to run amok in our country and kill people – […]

Second Southern Maine Shark Scare – York Beach

Long Sands: Not Much Swimming Today The Hairy Beast York, Me. No less than three shark sightings at York beach yesterday prompted The Hairy Beast to assay the half hour drive and check out the situation himself. The beach has been reopened today, but nobody is swimming more than knee-deep. The Hairy Beast perched up […]

Two Thousand Dollars Worth of Chinese Food Part 3.

This is, as the title suggests, the third part in what will hopefully turn out to be a four-part series. Readers who wish to start at the beginning, or have missed the second part may click on either of the links below: Two Thousand Dollars Worth of Chinese Food Part 1 Two Thousand Dollars Worth […]

Capelinks.com: Too Many Seals, Not Enough Sharks

It appears that The Hairy Beast’s musings on the relationship between an exploding New England seal population and the unusual appearance of a great white shark fifty feet off a Cape Cod beach last month (Cape Cod Massachusetts: Too many seals and Great Whites, now!) has prompted some explication from Capelinks.com. In the post Too […]

Cape Cod Massachusetts: Too many seals and Great Whites, now!

*******************UPDATE, August 06, 2007 : Its happened AGAIN!************************* * On July 18, a Chatham resident and several beachgoers got a big suprise. From “Cape Cod Online”: On Lighthouse Beach, witnesses said they saw a 15-foot great white spring from the water and devour a seal swimming about 50 feet off shore. Officials could not confirm […]

Two Thousand Dollars Worth of Chinese Food Part 2.

Author’s Note of Shameless Self Promotion: Because The Hairy Beast prefers to post in serial form, he directs The Readers’ attention to the to the fact that this is the second installment of the second story in his Connubial Angst Series. Readers familiar with this work may continue. For unfamiliar Readers who wish to begin […]

Saturday Maine Mutant Roundup

It’s hairy, it stinks, it’s dead. It’s in Maine. What is it? The general consensus believes it to be a feral dog But who knows? According to The Portland Press Herald, it’s just another Monster Story For Maine Genetic tests may show that the mystery beast of Androscoggin County was actually a dog, but don’t […]

Guest Blogger: ROBOSAPIEN makes a ROBO-RITA!

GREETINGS, MEAT-CREATURES! ARE YOU READY TO MANUFACTURE A BEVERAGE?

Two Thousand Dollars Worth of Chinese Food Part 1.

Stories should begin with a snappy opening line, but I’m breaking that tradition because this one is about my mercifully three-years-dead marriage and I can’t find a sufficiently apocalyptic metaphor to describe it. I could, for example, compare my unholy matrimonial union to the crash of the German Zeppelin Hindenburg in 1937 and get it […]