Monthly Archives: December 2006

This Time Last Year In NH

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Zucker on ISG and Baker! Funny stuff

More comic genius from the makers of “Police Squad”!

Danny Bonaduce Vs Some Smug Punk

Don’t bother a celeb when he’s sober and eating.

Why Can’t There Be Paris Hilton Deniers Too?

With the entire world in deep denial over such trivial issues as the Rising Tide of Islamofascism, Plummeting Western Birth Rates, Illegal Immigration, Crime, and even The Holocaust, it is appropriate to look at the silly things the more credulous among us do believe in but shouldn’t.
1. Man-Made Global (sic) Warming.

“We have to [...]

Christmas Carols For Global Jihad

Omar The Explosive Arab
By The Hairy Beast
© 12-13-2006 All Rights Reserved
Omar The Explosive Arab
Was a Jihadi Imam
And if you ever saw him
He’d be carrying a bomb.
All of the other Imams
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Omar
Join in any Jihad games.
Then one bloody Iraq eve
Osama came to say
Omar with your faith [...]

Just Blew A Job Interview

Went for a management job at a fish stick factory (seriously) but the interview must have gone poorly, because the uptight HR Chick turned The Beast down despite his scintillant personality. It went sort of like this:

Perhaps chewing gum in the interview was a bad idea too….

Attention TV Producers, new daytime show: “Gay Divorce Court”!

We’re gonna get rich on this! RICH!
************************************************
REALITY TV SHOW PITCH:
Author Name: The Hairy Beast and Miami Bar Guy
Genre: Reality Series

Title: “Gay Divorce Court!”
Logline: “Judge Wapner” meets “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy”. Divorcing Gay couples wrangle for posessesions, pets, antiques and toys in a court-based setting. (Themes: Reality-based, law show, unintentional comedy)
Synopsis: Everybody loves conflict, [...]

“2006 Weblog Awards” – Vote For “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly”!

Several months ago The Beast was fortunate to lurch across the funniest, wittiest blog he has ever seen in his fifteen years surfing the Internet: The Hatemonger’s Quarterly.
Here is just a brief taste:
“The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” Official Complaint Form:
Dear Crack Young Staff of “The Hatemonger’s Qurarterly,”
I am a regular reader of your “weblog” who loves your [...]

Top 10 Iraq Study Group Solutions To Other Problems In The World:

Emboldened by their success at solving all our problems in the Middle East, and anxious not to lose momentum, The Iraq Study Group announced that they secretly decided to devote an extra day to ten additional problems. They are listed below:
10. Smoking.
ISG: “Quit.”
9. Spouse Abuse.
ISG: “Get Out Now.”
8. Teenage Homelessness.
ISG: “Run Right Back To [...]

Attention: UFO Wack-Jobs, Crypto-Zoo-Lunatics And Conspira-nuts!

Welcome to the site!
Several days ago in an uncharacteristic burst of productivity, The Beast crafted a mildy amusing satire (Below) poking fun at Conspiracy freaks, the MSM Fauxtographers, and French Genius Jerry Lewis. One need only look at the header, Bush Lied, International Polar Moon Camp Already There!, to realize that this is not [...]