The Maine Mutant – He’s not related

Breaking Beast News at:
The Saturday Maine Mutant Roundup

Not Me
Some Other Hairy Beast

The Hairy Beast created this blog five days ago, and readership has been light, as expected. But something strange happened today – the hit counter started spinning like Linda Blair’s head! Suddenly hundreds of people were viewing this blog! And it’s still going!

For the first few hours The Hairy Beast indulged himself in the fantasy it was merely his genius catching on. But then he noticed that most of the hits were coming from search engines whose terms were:

The Beast
The Maine Beast
maine news beast
beast found in maine

The Hairy Beast maintains his lair Southern New Hampshire, so close to the Maine Border he could literally throw a rock into it, but he has not made that information public. So why the frenzy?

A quick Google search solved the mystery.

‘Hybrid Mutant’ Found Dead in Maine

The Hairy Beast wishes to reassure his readers that he is alive and well, he has not been to Maine in weeks and has no family there. His eyes only glow red when he’s had too many shots of the bar brand at his local watering hole.

As for the smell – he has had no complaints.

Well, not recently.

UPDATE (2:23 am EST): Ok, the counter’s stopped spinning. Back to the single digits and trolling for clicks on Phillipino Dating Sites.
UPDATE TO THE UPDATE (Saturday 8/19): The craziness continues – Google has listed this site second under Cryptomundo for web search terms related to the dead maine mutant. This blog is eight days old and it has had over a thousand hits today alone. So WELCOME SEARCHERS! The Hairy Beast will accomodate your interest with a new page devoted to the dead creature (an hour north of where he lives) that can be found HERE.

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17 Comments

  1. dragonlady474
    Posted August 17, 2006 at 10:01 am | Permalink

    Hey, what am I chopped liver? lol

  2. Posted August 17, 2006 at 11:48 am | Permalink

    My first time posting here & I just wanted to let you know that you have a great site. Also, I loved the “Judge Judy” story!

  3. Posted August 17, 2006 at 12:16 pm | Permalink

    My first time posting here & I just wanted to let you know that you have a great site. Also, I loved the “Judge Judy” story!

    mrsjosegoldbloom, The Hairy Beast welcomes you to his site and he is deeply gratified you enjoyed “Hungover On Judge Judy”. He is happy that at least one good thing came out of what was otherwise a foul and deeply humiliating experience.

    Welcome.

  4. Posted August 17, 2006 at 12:19 pm | Permalink

    dragonlady474
    Hey, what am I chopped liver? lol

    Not to worry, you never forget your first, right?

    Your place in history has been secured.

  5. dragonlady474
    Posted August 17, 2006 at 12:37 pm | Permalink

    I humbly accept this award and will proudly hang it right next to the testicles of my first boyfriend.

  6. Posted August 17, 2006 at 12:57 pm | Permalink

    The Hairy Beast shudders to think what you might use for a frame.

  7. dragonlady474
    Posted August 17, 2006 at 1:26 pm | Permalink

    It’s for the best that you don’t ask.

  8. Posted August 17, 2006 at 1:53 pm | Permalink

    Trust me beast you don’t want to know what dragon is capable of. She’s be a scary thing!

  9. dragonlady474
    Posted August 17, 2006 at 2:24 pm | Permalink

    She’s be?? lolol dork

  10. Posted August 17, 2006 at 2:48 pm | Permalink

    Hey it’s pirate talk. sheesh!

  11. Posted September 11, 2007 at 4:50 pm | Permalink

    nice web site, i tottaly dugg it, yep. it was the coolest web site. just in case this doesnt come through know i still love you and that i am still waiting. k. any how who started this web site its kinda crazzy but true but atleast i am no longer blinded to the truth of yhea there must of been a real beast that exsisted. my dad and mom were never lying, i was. but teeth come in perfect when you use true colgate toothpaste.i… am truely lost on how i could ever repay all of you”quota” 99 (females) for your awsome diggen web site. go boston redsox. always lol,put oposed my smiling tab. always true,shawn jhon sean’s true blood son ‘lil’ apiff (LEE EAKINS)

  12. Posted September 11, 2007 at 5:01 pm | Permalink

    P.S, Please keep all yourselves safe from the male dawg speceices, wear sunscreen even if its rainin outside, keep your head up because my father is on you and he knows each one of your hearts and hes always 1 true phone call away,whoopi. So dont just sit back but act for yourselves and be your own self advocates but keep your hearts and your minds forever gaurded for ushers confessions were forever true,”just litsen to your heart before you tell him good-bye” and keep eating healthy but keep strong for daughters live trueley as their fathers do.but know that when the waves of life start to deepen get back up and get back in thy race for he’s gonna see you through but know he will always be proud of whatever you do as long as it is faithfull and just, so forgive your sisters for they admire you. i’ll be a watchin.

  13. strumguiest
    Posted December 9, 2007 at 5:06 pm | Permalink

    i say it is the devil in a different form feeding on anything and night.

  14. Posted August 31, 2008 at 9:39 pm | Permalink

    Hi!,

  15. Posted August 31, 2008 at 11:43 pm | Permalink

    Good day!,

  16. Posted September 1, 2008 at 3:22 am | Permalink

    Hello!,

  17. Posted April 18, 2013 at 5:17 pm | Permalink

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    such detailed about my problem. You are incredible!
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